You & Me Doll

Lizzy recently got this new doll from her grandma. She likes it pretty well, but frankly, it creeps me out. I guess she's heard me say it's "creepy" a few times because Lizzy now says "ceepy" (pronounced "key-pee"), It's a fitting name, in my opinion.

Check it out. You can clearly hear the mechanics of it too. eek.
(sorry the vid is a bit shaky. btw, that's lizzy in the background making her cute noises)



I mean, couldn't they have given it a better cry? Or at least synchronized the voice with the movements? When it lies down the thing goes to sleep, but then after about 5 seconds of sleeping it shuts off and opens its eyes. I'm telling you---creepy!

Wrong

Yesterday I purchased 2 bags of this, on sale for around $2 each:















Broccoli & Cauliflower. Florets, if judging by picture alone. (tsk tsk tsk, silly consumer.)


Here's what was inside:
















Yes, folks. A mix of stringy stems and angular squares. No florets. Not even close to the pictoral representation. Ah, even steaming couldn't save this flavorless, fibrous bunch. Hardly truth in advertising. Hardly what I intended to serve my family, and not even close to what anyone wants to eat.

Thanks Safeway brand!


Now, the big question...what to do with the other bag of this?

Technorati tags: Safeway, false advertising, WTF

untitled

We're back from Hawaii, and what a trip it was. We saw dolphins, turtles, and seals (oh my!), snorkeled, swam, ate fine food, drank lots of mai tais, and jumped off a waterfall. A Great time.



And we are so very happy to be home safe and sound. Because one of our fabulous days in paradise was marred by tragedy. My husband came very close to drowning while swimming in some rough surf. We were very shaken by this. What really drove the point home though was that, as my husband was pulling himself out of the water, another man about 100 ft away was struggling for his own life. It was a struggle he apparently lost. He dropped down in the surf, and after several days he has yet to be found.



Our hearts go out to the woman we stood with on the beach, the woman who, after watching a failed resuce attempt and an agonizing search that included helicopter flyovers, lifeguards combing the shores, and later, coast guard assistance, knew that her loved one was gone.



I stood by her and hugged her while she chanted prayers and exclamations. She spoke german, so I didn't understand the words, but the meaning was clear. Be Strong! Don't Give Up! God Help Him! Mostly though, we searched an angry, empty sea. At times we could only look into the wind and cry.



When it got dark and they suspended the search until morning, there was no misunderstanding. In her heavily accented english, she softly said to me, "it's over. not good." There was nothing I could say except "I'm sorry."



and Thank You God for giving us another day














R.I.P. Peter Unzeitig, Nov. 29, 2006

The "No-Cry, No-Sleep" Sleep Solution

Early this morning my 20-month-old daughter woke me from a dream. I could hear her crying in her crib; apparently she couldn't settle back into sleep on her own. They say that most babies/toddlers wake during the night and can fall back asleep on their own (or learn to), and most of the time Lizzy does just this. Lately however, she's backslid into bouts of crying and carrying on until either me or daddy gets up to check on her.

When I do hear her crying, I give her at least 10 minutes to calm herself and see if she'll go back to sleep on her own. We struggled with her sleep since the beginning--it's been the most difficult thing I've faced with her. And over the past year, it's gotten worlds better. More often than not, Lizzy can sleep all the way through the night without incident.

But, not last night.

It was 4:02am and I had just returned from checking on her--she had woken me at about 3:45, and after about 10 min of crying, I went to her. I didn't pick her up, just hugged and reassured her everything was ok and that she needed to go back to sleep. It was now 4:02 and she was crying louder and much more intensely.

What a terrible sound. It just made my insides churn with an overwhelming need to go comfort her, to hold and rock her until she was back to sleeping peacefully. But bad habits form quickly for toddlers, and I want her to consistently sleep in her own bed. So I put the covers over my head and let her cry it out.

After 12 min of loud crying (4:14am), I couldn't help but wonder if by not answering her I was inadvertently "teaching her" rejection. That thought pained me terribly. Obviously I want her to know that I am there and she shouldn't be afraid, but at the same time I need her to know that she can sleep on her own.

My motherly need to comfort eventually won, and at 4:22 I went to her. How could I not? This little 20-month-old soul was screaming her heart and lungs out for the one thing she wanted: mama.

When I walked in, she stood up and said "mahh-mahhhhh" all stuffy and wet with crying. I hugged her while she was still in the crib, and then she joyfully said "hi." (It's such a cute thing to hear her say hi, btw.) She calmed down instantly and wanted "up!"

Adamantly, I didn't pick her up (it's sooooo difficult to get her back in the crib if I pick her up in the middle of the night). So I managed to calm her into lying back down by singing lullabies and stroking her beautiful red hair. I talked to her gently, and she eased into a relaxed state.

I sat by her crib and, while pretending to have my eyes closed, watched her keep herself awake, all wide-eyed and blinking stiffly.

I made myself comfy on her cushiony pillows at the base of the crib (set up to prevent escape-injury, just in case), and after about 15 min she sounded like she was asleep. Or very close. I got up slowly and quietly snuck out of the room. She heard me, but she was good and didn't get up.

Glancing at my bedside clock, it was now 5:04am. I rolled into bed and could hear her stir and "say" something, but again, she was good and didn't make any noise afterwards. I assume she went right to sleep.

Back in bed, I was now wide awake, mind running rampant with warm thoughts of her, of how she smiles and how she giggles, of just how amazing and...exhausting...she can be.

I couldn't stop thinking about just how much I love her. And how I wouldn't change anything about her, even if it would mean that I could get more sleep or get more writing done.

I am ever-so awed and inspired by her, this little person who's only been here for 20 months. And although there are days when motherhood challenges me to the core, it gives me such indescribable joy.


~~~~~~~~~
Update: I came across this quote just after completing this post:

"Don't get so involved in the duties of your life and your children that you forget the pleasure. Remember why you had children."

---Lois Wyse

Between the nano novel, cleaning the house/kitchen, trying to lose weight for Hawaii, keeping Lizzy entertained, adjusting to my no-career status, staying up on my mother's group, etc. etc.---I need to remember this and stop trying to do everything at once and simply enjoy the moment. Be present in my life.


Lizzy's growing everyday. And so am I.
But nights like the one I've described above will be nothing but a memory soon enough.



Technorati tags: toddlers, sleep disruption, sleep training, motherhood

New Stuff

I've figured out the background, so now I only need to find something I like better than this flower grid thingie. I know, riveting opener, isn't it?

In other, even MORE exciting topics, Lizzy has officially used the potty three times. Needless to say, it was a very happy occasion for mom. But I must admit I've been remiss in reporting such exciting news, as this was about 10 days ago. I should have made more of a hub-bub because since then she hasn't used it. Bummer, huh? Her new thing is to tell me that random dolls and stuffed animals are "poopy" and that we need to change them. I'll have you know that Mickey Mouse is very regular. As is "Tidoo" her little squishy doll. I'll have them potty trained before Thanksgiving. I don't need to change any more diapers than necessary, thankyouverymuch.

Ker-POW!
Did you hear that? Yup, Lizzy is also entering the language explosion. She tries to say nearly everything and even holds conversations which go something like this:"goosheebahbah mee doo..." Sound familiar to all you moms out there? Sometimes even a real word comes out. She now says "hi!" which is so darn cute. (note: it's not so cute when she says "hi" to you upon entering her room in answer to her 3am cries. I mean, it's cute, but...it more like, "you woke me from sleep to say hi?" uh, yeah. reeeeal cute.) What's even better is her trying to say scarecrow. It comes out as "care-coh" and makes you want to just explode from witnessing such darn cuteness.

Other new stuff (in case you want to be totally bored to tears): she uses a spoon fairly well now and can climb like a little monkey. oo oo ee ee ahh ahh. She walks up and down stairs by herself and is finding new joys in climbing the absolutely highest slide at the park. If mommy pulls her down, she has a fit.

"Hi" to the beginnings of the terrible twos. whimper

I hope all will be well next week with Grandma & Grandpa. As they say, she can be a little pistol sometimes. Must be all that red hair.

Technorati tags: toddlers, potty training, language explosion

Blogger Beta---yeah it is!

Let me just say that I'm kinda irritated Blogger Beta's claims that it would be sooooo much easier to customize (ok, I'm paraphrasing, but is it just me or didn't they make it sound like it would be a cinch?) Whatever. It's not. It's easy if you want to keep the same template but change fonts and colors. WHEE. Oh I guess you can add some new "elements" to the page, but even these are pre-programmed. I took one look at the new "customizer" and just about barfed.

So, here's my take on trying to customize Blogger on my own. It's a start. And I in no way shape or form claim to be good at this. Frankly, I don't know what the #$% I'm doing here. For instance, I'm having issues with the background and think I may ditch it altogether. I like having my own header though. I've been wanting to figure that out for months. I finally holed myself up in a room last night and just threw something together while my poor hubby was downstairs with a very cranky Lizzy. Poor dears. I guess mommy really needed some time away from it all. Why mommy picked wrestling with Blogger and HTML code instead of going out and doing something that's actually fun is a whole other issue. eh, I'll tackle that one later. maybe.

For now, I'm open to suggestions and any help on my HTML debacle displayed herein. :)

Nano MySpace-o

Ok. I admit it. I've totally lost it with the NANO project. I know. It sucks, but it's okay. I've got about 2500 words. I could list my excuses, but I'll spare you. Just wanted to keep you in the know. What matters is that I tried. kinda. I haven't given up on the novel, just getting 50K words written by Nov 30. yeah..........

have I mentioned that we are going to Hawaii in like 10 days?????? I absolutely cannot wait.
OH MY GAWD. It's going to be so keewl to have that much time to spend with my hubby and just be ourselves no work, no little girl. I'll miss her terribly, but we so need to get away and spend some time together. We are staying in the same place we spent our honeymoon. so fantastic. the lanai is oceanfront and we can step right out onto grass that leads to the beach. man oh man. can't. wait.

And.
After 4 months of having an account...I finally set up my MySpace page. (not sure if you can see it or not--but there's even a goofy picture of me on there--for the time being at least) It's funny how many people use myspace. Me? I have NO IDEA what to use it for, but at least now I can pretend to be hip and say, "me? oh yeah, I have a myspace page..." hahaha. I need to pick a URL name, but everything I've tried is already taken. (I know I know, big problems. WAH.) Anyway, if anyone wants to enlighten me as to what to actually DO with a myspace page, feel free. My friend told me people hook up via that thing, but obviously I don't need to do that. and you can have a blog, but...well, that's obviously not needed. Am I just taking up space over there? prolly. oh well.

Getting my NaNoWriMo Legs

It's day 2 of NaNoWriMo, and I'm behind. The goal is to write 50,000 words by midnight Nov 30th--that's roughly 1667 words a day. My total word count is...drumroll please...

1304.

But it's something. And I am proud. I want to "win" the challenge, but even if I don't, I'll be happy in knowing that I tried. If nothing else, I'll have 1304 more words of my novel than I would have if I didn't try. :)

Mostly I'm realizing just how difficult novel-writing is. Let me tell you, thinking and doing are two different things. For me, it's much harder than I realized. At least I am (partially) saved by the NaNoWriMo philosophy to write quantity, not quality. As an editor, it's especially challenging not to edit myself and to just write.

This is probably why I'm behind: because I've rewritten stuff and spent more time tweaking than just spilling out narrative content. I wrote 1,000+ words in about an hour today--not great, but better than yesterday's 300 words.

I'm behind, but I'm not giving up.
I'm not I'm not I'm not!

(Remind me to read this post come Nov 25th.)

Boo! It's NaNoWriMo Eve!!

I finally carved our pumpkin. Check it out.



I think it looks scary, and dude, I totally dig it that way! I've carved many a happy-go-lucky pumpkin, but this year I took one look at my little orange guy and saw a sad, seedy soul. pun intended.

I've also had such a wonderful day today. it helps when Lizzy naps for 2 hours, I must admit. But I actually feel that I got something accomplished AND Lizzy had fun. It's the kind of day I constantly strive for.

We visited the playground earlier in the afternoon and, while there, met lots of new little friends. It's much more fun to play with others. Elizabeth fell in love with this one little girl's bike and she kept going over to it and ringing its bell. the little girl didn't mind (thank god) but I tried to explain to her that it wasn't her bike even though it was one hellova ride...well, not in those words. anyways. it was a nice

And tomorrow I start the novel!

Now THAT's scary.

NaNoWriMo

Oh, I forgot to mention...

As you can see from the sidebar graphic, I've completely lost my marbles and decided to actually participate in this year's National Novel Writing Month, or "nanowrimo" as it is affectionately dubbed. I've got a basic plot forming in my head and lots of curiosity whether or not I can bring it to life as a novel.

Should be a wild ride.
Hope my seatbelts work.

Marie Antoinette review

The other night I went out with a friend to dinner, and afterwards, instead of going home, I went to see a movie...dun dun duuuun...by myself. My friend had to get home, giving the ol' I have to work line. haha, I remember those days!! I know I have a "job" too as mom to my young Lizzzzy baby, but I was out on the town already & not tired, so I figured what the heck. Let me stress that, duuude, this is a WAY rare occastion. Just being out without a child attached to my hip is rare enough!

Of all the movies to see, I chose Marie Antoinette. I'm not a big Kirsten Dunst fan, but I loved Sofia Coppolla's two other feature films (Lost in Translation and The Virgin Suicides). Plus, it was the only film starting around the time I got to the theaters. An easy and quick decision made!

In a word, I LOVED the movie. The striking imagery and refreshing soundtrack (a blend of New Romantic 80s stuff and classical pieces) wonderfully captured what it must have been like for the young, displaced, and very bored Marie. The romanticized scenes at le Petit Trianon were especially haunting and revealed a side of Marie Antoinette that is rarely seen: simple, pastoral, even a budding creative artist. Scenes of tall wildflowers swaying in the breeze, lazy boat excursions and afternoon interludes with lute and harp players. Beautiful. Not to mention the exquisite candies, bon bons and other delicacies mouthwateringly posed in strategically placed still shots. If I were one of those starving common people rioting in the streets, I'd hate her careless extravagence too, just for those awesome candies alone! I won't even go into her stunning costumes and makeup.

Of course, the film nearly completely disregarded the revolutionist's point of view--but this was Marie's story--she wasn't concerned with them (part of her problem) so it's fair that the volitile nature of revolutionary Paris didn't much enter Marie's world of Versaille, and especially her retreat which expressedly removed her from the worries of world.

Not sure how much this film depicts the real woman vs. how much of it is merely a simplified decpiction of her life. It would be interesting to learn more history on the period and specifically her real character. The film, however, succeeded in showing a sympathetic side of MA, and in a modern, refreshing way. Bravo Sofia.

Not bad, just Stuff.

I haven't been blogging lately, and it's been good. I love keeping a blog, but real life stepped in and said "hey, pay more attention to me." Not bad, just stuff. In the month I've been on hiatus I actually took my LAST paycheck and a (sort of) vacation road trip. I say sort of b/c it was with my DH and one of his friends. Sometimes three's a crowd, kwim? It was fun doing some wheeling in Moab, some gambling in Vegas, and some looong hours driving NV's "Loneliest Road in America" (I'm not kidding). Fun to get away mostly, but I wouldn't call it a "vacation.

So, now I have no...ahem...paid job and lemme tell you that's been yet another transition. The reality of my career-kill is a bit harder than I expected. Perhaps it's more a mental leap than anything though. Just knowing that I don't have my career anymore kind of forces me to "redefine" who I am, if that makes sense. Even though I DIDN'T define myself by my career--I didn't even really think of it as a career. It really makes no sense. All of these thoughts stem from the fact that being a SAHM is completely different than going to the office everyday. Goals and acheivements are still there, but they are WAY wacky. All over the board & chaotic is how I would describe it. So unlike my previous job where things were much more structured and somewhat predictable and process-oriented-to-death, now I need to re-think how to plan and complete goals. Suffice to say, it's been a messy few weeks as far as that goes.

Anyhoo---what I've missed most about blogging--aside from all your brilliant comments of course--is not having a record of what's been going on with me and my darling Lizzy.

She's made a lot of progress just in the past month it seems. She's attempting to talk more-- even mimics words that she's heard for the first time. Well, she's starting to do that; it's still a fairly random event, but it's a start. I know she understands so much of what we're saying too. Nice, but a little scary. Certain words can now trigger an intense reaction, like playground, park, walk, eat, and of course, no.

oh yeah, she's starting to say "no" and I need to keep reminding myself that this IS a good thing.


Glad to be back. It feels good to open up the writing bottle again--I missed it more than I thought I did. Writing is amazingly cathartic.

So are Lizzy's naps...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. (Just sleep. pretty please??! Mommy NEEDs you to nap. Mommy...I mean you...er...will feel so much better after a nice, long nap...)

What to do?

It's 4pm and Lizzy still hasn't taken her nap. I just spent the last 30 min in her room, laying on the floor pretending to sleep, hoping she would follow suit. She didn't. However, what she did do was pretty revealing.

She's not napping because she is trying like mad to escape...(cue dark foreboding music)...her crib!

I know because I watched her try over and over again. She lifts her leg up and over the rail so that her knee can almost completely bend over the top. crazy! Then she actually gets her other leg up off the mattress! She's almost figured out how to escape! and I'm guessing that's not going to take long.

I knew her "crib break" was in the making, but I had no idea how close she was to actually succeeding. She's such a determined little problem solver (e.g., remember her climbing tactics?) that I'm thinking I may need to buckle down and set up a toddler or twin bed.

O, scary, scary thought.

I'm imagining episodes of Nanny 911 and Supernanny becoming all too real for me. If you're not sure what I'm talking about, I mean I'm afraid it's going to take hours of repeatedly putting her back in bed before she finally actually sleeps. Will no crib equal no sleep? or at least very painful bedtimes? Are DH and I going to have to spend our nights trying to get her to sleep in her own big-girl bed?

Knowing how difficult she's been sleep-wise since day 1, I'm really nervous about ousting the crib. But if she's climbing out, she could fall on her head/neck and seriously injure herself.

What to do? What to do?

Quality Time

My Friday afternoon break was wonderful.

Here's what I did:

1. Ran small errand (aren't I good, doing the "work" first?)

2. Browsed the consignment store nearby & found a solid teak console table for $49. Unbelievable price and very smart looking. Put the table on hold.

3. Wandered next door to the new southwestern/Mexican collectibles store. Lots of Native American and Mexican pottery, glassware, linens, art, etc. Found a large copper vase that was absolutely stunning. It was pressed into different shades and then finely etched with flowers, vines, and other embellishments. I remarked how pretty the piece was, and the saleswoman informed me it was "one of a kind." It really was beautiful. So, I checked the price: $800. (ahem.) Didn't think DH would find it that beautiful, so I put it down and promptly left the store.

By then, an hour had gone by, and I was starting to feel like my time was slipping away too fast. Shopping is fun, but I wanted to get some time to sit and just rest, reflect, and rejuvenate. I figured I could be gone at least another 1/2 hour, so I decided to drive to main street and check out a local coffee shop that had just reopened under new management. It was the best thing I could have done.

Ordered coffee and a snack. I had grabbed the latest Oprah mag from my car (it's my reading material in case Lizzy falls asleep while we're out--sometimes I just let her sleep while I sit and read. She's a tough little gal to get to sleep, so I try and take advantage of it when I can).

With all my accoutrements, I finally settled at one of the outside tables. It was about 4pm, sunny, warm, cars & pedestrians drifting by. The feel of Friday evening, the weekend was freshly settling on main street. Joival women looked in shop windows, while business men in suits walked by with their briefcases, coats, and keys in their clutches.

I opened & read some of the mag, but it was so wonderful to sit and just watch people and be in the present in the moment. When I noticed I was seated next to a sprightly patch of flowers, and I gazed upon their glorious color and watched their perky petals jostling in the breeze, I felt unspeakably happy and refreshed. It was a grand moment. Simple, but utterly magnificent.

I sat at that table for about 30 min, smiling and enjoying my coffee, pumpkin bread, and the peaceful, easy feeling of watching the world go by.

When I got home, I thanked my FIL and told him how wonderful it was to just sit outside and enjoy some coffee without my little Lizzie there. He laughed. Not sure why he laughed, but I told him, "no, really, it was wonderful. thank you!" and I think then he got the message.

Everyone needs time away, even if it's just for 1-2 hours.
And no $49 table or $800 vase could have given me that kind of smile.

Freetime & Sleeptime

DH's been out of town on business all week, so my FIL offered to come over today and give me an hour or so off to do whatever I want to do. Isn't that nice of him!? My in-laws really are great.

It's so funny, knowing that I have a little block a free time on the horizon, my mind starts rolling, trying to decide what to do with it.

• Should I go get that pedicure I keep talking about getting?
• Are there any movies out that I really want to see?
• Should I just spent it reading/chatting at Starbucks?
• Do I have any errands that would be easier done on my own (now that's a good one. I should say what errands are there and do I even feel like doing them during my "free time"?)

I wish I was one of those people that immediately knew how to best spend sudden blocks of free time, but usually I grapple with the options. It is fun to think of all the possibilities though, and I suppose by doing so I'm already enjoying the time off, you know, by spending time imagining all the cool things I could do.

I'm thinking I might just do a little leisurely shopping (impossible when I'm with Lizzy, and I love to take my time shopping!) and couple that with a small errand.

I feel so nerdy getting excited about this little venture. Makes me step back and notice just how much my life has changed since becoming a mom.

Speaking of mommyhood, Lizzy has been pretty challenging this week with sleeping. Yesterday she didn't want to take her nap (she did end up sleeping for about 40 min on the sofa after I rescued her from the crib) and then she doth protest(ed?) too much at her bedtime. I knew she was tired, but she was just acting hysterical, screaming her little head off and getting the choking cough.

I went in a couple of times, but to no avail. Her birds sadly needed batteries, but that's happened before and she's been okay. I brought her downstairs and she kept saying "go" (????) which could mean LOTS of things, so very confusing.

I held her on the sofa, and, as she would start to fall asleep, she'd rouse herself up and climb down to the floor to do who knows what. After about 45 min of this, I took her upstairs to my room and laid down with her on the big bed. I sang her a couple of lullabys and she basically went right to sleep.

Time: 1015pm. She got up at 530am, so I have NO IDEA what was keeping her awake. Needless to say I was tired after 17 hours. Didn't stop me from watching Janelle get tossed out of Big Brother All Stars. damn.

Lizzy fought her nap today too, but she did eventually stop crying and fell asleep, in her crib....ahhhhh.... thankyou thankyou thankyou.

Aw well. gotta go straighten up a little bit before FIL comes on over. I'll have to report back on how I actually spent my freetime! woo hoo

Our Time

Dear Elizabeth,

Today you went to your first class ever, Kindermusik: Our Time. It is a class for 1 1/2 to 3 year olds, and you are one week away from your 18-month birthday.

I think you may have been the youngest one there, because many of the kids could talk in sentences and they clearly understood what the teacher was saying. It was completely new for you, and, despite your rampant curiousity and non-stop roaming about the room, you did wonderfully.

Granted, the whole experience was much more structured than you are used to. You spent most of the class exploring the folding chairs and watching (if you can call it that) from the sidelines, while everyone else was sitting in a (sortof) circle on the floor.

Melissa, our teacher, led simple songs and movement (like swaying, singing, and tapping the floor). You were much more interested in what was actually on the floor, like other peoples' shoes. You even brought me a couple of different pairs to put on your feet. They weren't yours, and they were way too big for you.

At one point you played with another lady's keys. The lady looked worried that you would lose them. I asked you nicely to give them to me, and you did. When I returned them to the lady, I told her sorry, and she smiled at me.

You also threw down one of the bells that Melissa gave to you to shake and play with. Yes, it made a great big noise. And it was okay. Luckily these were all mommies who understand your gregarious, 18-month-old curiosity.

You made mommy very proud when Melissa played a quiet song and you let me hold you like the other mommies gently holding their own girls. (amazingly, there were no boys in this class.) You also knew how to "dust" off the chairs and "clean" the room with the dustcloth that Melissa handed out to everyone.

The most amazing thing that you did during class was that you sat still and paid attention to the entire book that Melissa showed the class. You thought the blanket she laid out was soft, and at one point you even laid down on it to test its coziness. Melissa showed everyone pictures in the storybook and you looked at many of the pages from your spot on the blanket.

Pretty soon you will be riveted by many stories and songs, not just by pictures, shoes, and other peoples' keys (although clearly those are interesting too).

By the end of class you had demonstrated an interest in what was happening and even joined in storytime and the goodbye song. I'd say that's pretty wonderful for a 45-minute class, an eternity for you.


My little Lizzie, you are learning so much everyday, and I am so very proud of you. You are extremely bright and are always thinking and processing information. You can only say a few words, but I know that you thoroughly enjoyed your first class today. I could tell because afterwards you were worn out and tired from the excitement. Even when AJ and P came over to visit after class, you weren't your normal boundless self. You were ready for your nap. (Don't worry, they understood. Learning is tiring work!)

You are about to embark on an amazing discovery: linguistic, cognitive, and social development...well, that's many discoveries. Yes, you've still got a lot to learn. And mommy is here with you every step of the way.

Me quitting my job and staying home with you is the crux of what "Our Time" means. And I am positively thrilled at the prospect of watching you grow up. (not too quickly though, ok?)

Right now you are in this wonderful transition period between baby and toddler: that is, sometimes you are still a little babylike--where you explore things by putting them into your mouth, garble "words," and exist in your own world sometimes--and other times you show older, more toddlerlike behavior--where you try to communicate with words and affectionate gestures (you are truly an amazing hugger), you follow simple directions and participate in adult-led activites, and sometimes you can even eat snack from a bowl without spilling anything.

Today, by playing and learning with the "big girls," you took a big step towards toddlerhood.

And I am so very proud of you.

Love,
Mommy


technorati tags: toddlers, first day of class, kindermusik, our time, letters

Four more weeks of work

Good news: I only have 4 more weeks of work!!!
(Can you see my happy dance?)

4 weeks may sound like a lot, but it feels great because the other good news is: the big project I've been working on is nearly finished! (yay!) I've completed all reviews and the copy should be pretty close to done. It's been extremely difficult this time around b/c the writer I'm working with has never published before & he's had a lot of process issues and questions and back-and-forth stuff that's taken more time and energy than expected. (I keep having to remind him that I only work "part time.") anyway, it's almost done and I'm getting esctatic in that I can FINALLY see the light at the end of the whole work tunnel. Hopefully by this time next week, this big projet will be done and the stress a thing of the past.

You wouldn't think that working part time from home would be a big deal, but...throw in a very active toddler (who doesn't much enjoy naps, thankyouverymuch) and a big messy project with a newbie, and....well, just watch your head spin.

I'm really looking forward to November, when the National Novel Writing Month comes along. The timing seems to work out very well:

sept: finish & cut ties with work
oct: draft outline for my novel (that sounds so cool)
nov: write write write write write (all this for fun!)
dec: recover, do xmas, and try not to whine about how sucky my novel is

What a great end of the year it's looking to be!

technorati tags: NaNoWriMo, working mom

Being at home is hardest when...

she's bored and i'm low on ideas
there's no other adult to talk to
i need to work but she wants my attention
she won't nap
she plays with the toys i've just cleaned up
i don't understand what she wants
she can't talk
she whines a lot
daddy has to work late

i work harder and longer now
than i did for my paid job
that i left willingly

the hard days challenge me
but i'm endlessly amazed
at just how happy i am
to be home
with her

Oh, the places you'll go!

Lizzy's new discovery: using a stool to climb onto things.

I just had to share this series of photos I took today because it is just so darn funny. The whole series was taken in a matter of seconds.

She must have seen me using this stool in the last couple of days. Today she found it and once she figured out how to assemble it (I'm not kidding!) she carried it to all kinds of places! Here she is at her highchair. Oh, and contrary to what this looks like, I *do* feed her. real food, in fact!

and then she was stuck and needed help from "mah-mah!"

I'm having visions of her climbing onto countertops, refrigerators, you name it---getting into absolutely everything I wouldn't expect nor want her to get into.

A whole new level of parenting, literally.

O, my smart little problem solver!

Re: Toddlers, Expect the Unexpected

It's a funny thing--the more time I spend with my dear Lizzy, the more I realize that the following skills are not only useful, but required to stay sane:

a) Keep wipes with you at all times.

b) Keep diapers with you at all times.

c) Ditto for the extra outfit (even with those wipes and diapers, you can forget it when DD's digestive tract has other plans.

d) Don't leave sippy cup on roof of car while driving.

e) If you do, keep extra sippy cup/s with you at all times.

f) Remember: your purse is not a toy.

g) If purse is (or somehow becomes) a toy, for the love of all that is holy, do not store wallet in said purse!

h) If wallet is in purse, and purse placates DD (i.e., becomes a toy), then keep all monies (paper, plastic, or metals) and important checks out of said wallet/purse ensemble.

i) If money, wallet, and purse fall into child's hands, face it: you're screwed.

j) Don't buy DD new shoes with fancy step-lights if you are immediately going to take her to the beach and let her run around near the water.

k) If this happens, better keep extra shoes with you at all times.

l) And a toy that will cheer her up when she discovers that her shoes no longer flash and look pretty.

m) If you take DD to a restaurant, don't linger over the menu's juicy adjectives and become indecisive over which daily special to try--your toddler only has a short window, people. Have you seen those high chairs? a little padding might help. and god forbid that those actually get cleaned...(restauranteurs take note) Who can blame the little tykes...I mean, would you want to sit in those things for any period of time? I didn't think so.

n) When dining with DD in public, don't fret about using your (washed) fingers if you need to assist your child (who is, let's face it, messy and only beginning to learn how to feed herself). Nevermind the obvious sideways glances from that nearby childless table. They clearly need better conversation skills. or a more entertaining date.

o) Bring stroller with you everywhere.

p) Otherwise you will be forced to carry (or chase) DD everywhere you go.

q) If DD gets sick of being strapped in stroller, allow her to run around in a safe area for a little while to burn off some energy.

r) By "run around in a safe area," I do not mean the mall, the grocery store, any restaurant, or any beach.

s) Be real: you need to strategically plan your errands around the location of the following: preschool parks, any local relatives and/or friends' houses, and several fast-food joints with play areas.

t) If visiting any of these locations, see a-c above and bring twice what you think you need.

u) If you don't have time to stop anywhere to let child run around and take a play break, avoid these places like the plague! One chance glance of the MickeyD's Play Place may send your restless, confined child into a fit!

v) If perchance, while out and about, you encounter other young toddlers, don't allow these sweet (but unknown to you) children kiss or otherwise slobber on your child's face.

w) When it's the overzealous parents of unknown children who are demanding kisses and such (between the kids, not you two!), get in there and do what you need to do to protect your Precious little one. Lie if you have to. ("I'm sorry, but my DD has a cold...") Don't let the "aw, but it's so cute when they do that" or the "argh!...but I don't want to hurt their feelings or offend anyone" in-your-head discussions take over your brain.

x) When going out shopping, always remeber how much room the stroller occupies in your vehicle and buy only that which can fit in addition to the stroller. (see o and p above).

y) Accept that sometimes following these items and more will still not be enough.

z) Most importantly,know that this (item y) is normal, okay, and completely part of the process. You'll get through it. And heck, you may even laugh at it all. someday. maybe.


If nothing else, remember that the only thing you can expect of your young toddler is, quite frankly, the unexpected.


I'll leave you with a quote:

"Being a parent is unlike any previous job--the results of any one action are not clearly visible for a long time, if at all."

-Anonymous mother

Technorati tags: toddlers, parenting

Dizzy Miss Lizzy

I'm still alive---just took a mini "vacation" from the blogosphere. DH was out of the country on business for 10 days. Felt more like 20. We had a massive heat wave, an ant invasion, joined a mom's group, bought a car, and ... and ... and... Well, here's the haps in brief:


1. We went to our first playgroup & joined a local mother's club--more on this in a separate post--suffice to say that the ladies are friendly and they have a lot of fun activities planned. I'm looking forward to meeting all of them--there's about 40 moms. Mom's Night Out should be one big Par-tay!

2. I finally got my laptop fixed and back from MyCorp. Turns out that Lizzy's coffee cup jamboree shorted out the motherboard (boo hoo!) but didn't harm the precious hard drive (woo hoo!). New motherboad, and all's good. Plus, I never did tell them the sad, sad story of how it all happened. Of course, someone, somewhere in computer fix-it-land knows. My computer reeked of coffee, and the brown, sticky evidence was all over my poor computer's innards.

3. Treadmill's working out great! Still trying to work up to being able to run again. It's going to take time. My (first) goal is to be able to run for 30 min. (see, I told you I was WAY out of shape).

4. Outdoor kitty is doing much better. I finally got her in the house for a couple of days. To get her to eat & drink, I added some warm water to canned tuna, and that seemed to do the trick. She's finally eating normally and isn't so sluggish. Kitties may have come from the desert, but that doesn't mean they can take 110-114 degree heat for several days. At least not my 10-year-old one. poor lil' aged feline.

5. Not really an event, more a random rambling: Ever heard the old Beatles (cover) song, Dizzy Miss Lizzy? ("You make me dizzy miss Lizzy, the way you rock and roll..."). It's not about a child--well, maybe it is, but that's another post (any Alton Brown fans out there? I love his stuff, but I digress...). The song is more about a boy going cuckoo over some girl. hey, it's an early beatles cover tune; they all kind of touch on this subject. Anyway, the title line makes me smile and think of how cuckoo Lizzy sometimes makes ME feel! :) She's so "go-go-go!" all the time. Which is so cute and so...tiring! I love how active she is and that her mind and body are so curious, energetic, and fearless. It's challenging, but so very satifying. That's more than I could say for the paid job that I just left. (I warned you that this was random & rambling!)

6. I'm currently reading To Kill A Mockingbird. Never read it before. (ahem.) Yes, I know that I have a graduate degree in English....but I just never read it before. I don't know how that happened. but now that I'm almost finished with said book, I begin to wonder the same thing: Why didn't any of my professors assign this wonderful book??? It's a disgrace. And here's the real kicker: I've never seen the movie either.

7. There's more, but I want to get this posted. I started writing this entry a couple of days ago, but blogger shut down while I was composing, so I had to try and recapture my original execptional wittiness. didn't work. stupid blogger.

:)

Whatchoo waitin' for?

Just before I found out I was preggers, I was training for my first marathon. I also had been listening to a new CD that had recently come out, Gwen Stefani's Love.Angel.Music.Baby.

The first track, "What You Waiting For," wasn't my favorite, but it's a catchy little tune. Especially now that I'm a SAHM with (sometimes) long days at home & not many adults to talk to.

I have so many things that I would like to do in the short time that I am here on this earth, and yet I have a difficult time fitting them into my already busy day. I need inspiration.

Gwen's extended video of this song speaks to this.

Do we wait for inspiration to strike or simply get out there and just do it?

Obviously she's subcribing to the latter, and it's a welcome philosophy to tune in to, at least for me, because I might not ever get to where I want to be if I don't just skip the feeling that I don't have enough time or that I need more (or less) of x, y, and z.

excuses, excuses!
I'm just full of them.

Not that a music video is going to significantly jump-start my creative energies, but every little bit helps, right?

If anything, it does help me to not feel so lame in my laid-back way of getting stuff done. I'm not alone. I hope.

I love her mantra: Whatchoo Waitin' For?
Just go do it, you stupid ____!

to that I say yeah! ok! I will!

...if only Lizzy would sleep longer...
("ah-ah-ah! no excuses!" sayeth the little angel/devil on my shoulder)

ahhh, it's ever the balancing act for mothers, isn't it?

Technorati tags: Gwen Stefani, inspiration, just do it

Can I Get a Group "Ugh"?

I know it's old news and everyone's sick to death of hearing about the hot, hot heat, but...

Today, at our house, it was a sweltering 112 degrees.

112!

This, after yesterday's record-breaking highs and a night that never got cooler than somewhere in the high 90s. In fact, yesterday we experienced the highest Low on record (since the 1800s) of 99.

Can I get a group "UGH"?

I don't know how Arizonians deal with this kind of heat all summer, every summer. All I'm saying is thank God we have air conditioning. But even with A/C, it's still hot as hell upstairs. and sleeping is a freakin' joke.

The bad news is that my older, outdoor kitty is having a very difficult time with this heat. She's lost weight, and today I don't think she ate much more than a few bites. I kept going out to check on her, and at least she would come up to get pet and stuff. But, she's got me worried big time. She just looks too thin. too too thin. and the not eating part...so scary. That's always a big sign that something's wrong. I would've liked to bring her in out of the heat, but that's easier said than done.

Changing the subject...

Playgroup didn't happen on Friday; it's been moved to Wed afternoon, so stay tuned for that report. Thanks Trish and Belle-ah for the advice and stuff. I really appreciate it. :)

Lizzy's finally in bed (and so is the blasted sun!!!!!) and I have a moment's peace, so I'm getting a glass o' wine and chillin in front of the tv or something.
At least Big Brother is on tonight. woo hoo.

Anyone else watching Big Brother All-Stars? Or am I the only loser?

I SOOOOO want James to nominate ChillTown. (can't believe I'm using their stupid terminology--ugh) specifically, I SOOOO want boogie out of there. I can handle Dr. Will for pure entertainment value, but boogie bugs the livin' crap out of me. Jacob's recap on Television Without Pity (long live tubey!) has a great assessment of said housemate, and I quote, "Mike sucks so bad, again, some more, even bitching about coattail riders, which earns him a swift kick in the ass from the God of Irony."

That pretty much sums it up. (what's up with the font? whatever...)

I am so stoked to have some time to veg in front the tv. yay.

After all, one must do something (read: nothing) to prepare for yet another scorcher.

'nuff said.


Technorati tags: heatwave, big brother

Joy

At 915 this morning we went out for a walk. Fed the ducks, saw our neighbor walking her black Newfoundland (aka giant dog), and stopped to let Lizzy out to stretch her legs and run around a bit. (she's antsy) I noticed that the temp sensor on the stroller read 96 degrees. (ahem.) Time: 9:30 AM.

What's up with the heat these days? I've heard that it isn't just around here (CA) but many places around the globe. Unlike this week's Entertainment Weekly,I'm not slyly plugging Gore's new movie; only sadly discussing the weather.

How boring of me.
(but it's just so hot!)

I (sort of) miss my old office with it's constant 72-degree environment. sigh. But watching Lizzy empty a kitchen drawer IS a lot of fun...

She's delighted by the littlest things. Today it's dropping stuff. She picks up a plastic bowl, lets it go, and giggles emphatically at its bounce and hollow sound.

O the joy of childhood.
It's infectious, it is.

Who cares if I put away those bowls 75 times today? It's so much fun to watch her smile and laugh. I must admit though, I don't particularly enjoy seeing the resulting dents in our hardwood floors, but on the other hand, "she gives our floors character," I tell myeslf. LOTS of character.

Eh, ultimately I don't care. it's a floor. it's a bowl. it's a full cup of milk spilled into the hardwood cracks....it's...a lot of things. But terrible it is not.

I have a daughter.
Wonderful, wiggly, and O so messy.

Onward and Outward

I'm totally loving my new treadmill. I would be on it right now while Lizzy's sleeping, but I'm trying to ease back into running (and by that I really mean jogging). It's been a while, so I don't want to hurt myself and then be out of commission for a month. That would NOT be good.

Funny...It's been so long since I ran on a regular basis that my father in law asked my hubby:

"A treadmill? Who's it for?...Did she get it as a gift?" ha ha.

To that I must ask, who gets someone a treadmill...as a gift? That would be pretty insulting. Can you imagine: "Here ya go. I thought you could use this."

Eh, he meant well. Even "I" know I need to lose some weight! He was just really surprised to hear that I run or would want to run. I've never been "a runner" per se, I just really enjoy how great it makes me feel.

Makes me feel like I might want to start training again. Probably not a marathon this time though: perhaps a 1/2 marathon. I like the idea of having that goal: completing something that is just for me, for my spirit, for my health, for my...sanity! ha.

When it comes to running, I like:

• the idea of tracking how many miles I've completed
• the way my forearms (and even my hands!) glisten (ok, sweat) after a good run. It's so cool to see them all slick.
  
• how it makes me feel so...I don't know...alive! and joyful to be taking in air and working my muscles

I sound totally sick, huh?

Oh well. I find that I really look forward to running, and I wish that I was in better shape so that I could run longer. I guess that will come with time.

~~~

My craziness aside, I'm planning to check out a local playgroup this Friday afternoon. Should be interesting to say the least. Lizzy needs a little socialization, and we all know that "I" do! ha.

I sincerely hope to find some local moms that I can connect with. I'm basically the first in my circle of friends who's had a child. Everyone else is just in another world: the single, childless one! (Been there. Done that.)

However, it definitely puts me a bit out of my comfort zone to attend one of these meetings where I don't know anyone. I'm not really a social butterfly. In fact, I find it quite challenging to open up to others, especially strangers. I'd like to change this. I'm trying to change this.

Do any of you have experience/advice regarding these kinds of mother's groups? I'm really clueless. I've heard this one's pretty good, but you never know. I'm a little wary about the other kids teaching Lizzy bad things, or the other mothers trying to tell me how to be a good mom, etc. I don't really know what to expect.


Technorati tags: running, treadmill, playgroups

Run, Baby, Run

My computer is dead. Scratch that...my company's computer is dead.
More on that later.
A big THANK YOU to my honey, who has given me use of his laptop during the days (after all, I still have to work to do)


In other events, it's been a good week.

Run, Baby, Run
drumroll please...I bought a treadmill. FINALLY! We need to go pick it up, so it's not home yet, but... I am so. very. excited. to have finally made this decision/purchase. I've soooo missed running since I got preggers 2 years ago. (at that time I was training for my first marathon) Of course, I am now WAY out of shape and need to basically start my "training" all over again. But it's great to know that I will soon be able to run without going to the gym (15 min away) or going outside (too HOT! pant pant pant=eew, no thanks)

A Whale of a Time
Lizzy and I ventured out yesterday and went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. If you've never gone, check it out next time your in the area. It's wonderful. They have a ton of kid-centric exhibits and activities, including touch pools (ooooo, slimy seaweed!) and an aviary (see the aviary cam) where they you can watch shorelife up close and personal.

They also have a "Splash Zone" (watch the penquins) where kids can let loose and play--kind of like a kids discovery area if you know what I mean. It was nice, but mostly for older, school-age kids.

Lizzy was literally climbing the wall trying to get into the stingray & tiger shark pool. She absolutely loves water, so it was a blast showing her real, live waterlife. She's a bit young to really understand it all, but was fascinated nonetheless.

Speaking of run, baby, run...I spent a good deal of time chasing Lizzy around as she zipped through corridors and weaved through a sea of legs (people legs, that is). Her passive stroller days are over, I'm afraid; she's way too active to sit for any length of time, especially in a place like that.

Aquarium Moments
In the touch ponds she kept dipping her hands in the water and then immediately putting her fingers into her mouth. The older woman working the exhibit just couldn't help but laugh. Although I had visions of all these freaky microrganisms breeding in her belly, the woman assured me that she would be fine.

We sat in the balconly of the Outer Bay (outer bay cam) watching the big fish, Lizzy standing on my lap, holding on to the bar in front of us. Two ladies and a little toddler boy sat right next to us, and after a moment or two, the two kids were more fascinated with each other than with the fish. They were both holding the bar rocking back and forth seeing who could rock faster, rougher, gosh, who knows what they were doing. They were just having a blast. So funny.

In the baby area, Lizzy got pinched, and I mean PINCHED by a little girl younger than her! I was shocked and had to pry that little...angel's...fingers off dear Lizzy's arm. (She had nail impressions in her upper arm for the rest of the night.) The parents were concerned and apologetic. But. Let's just say that it was time to go shortly after that little episode. Stupid PINCH Zone.

check out some pics of our day at the aquarium


Technorati tags: treadmill , Monterey Bay Aquarium

Computer Crisis in One Act

The Setting
Day: Thursday
Time: Mid-morning
Weather: Sunny & bright, about 75 degrees and rising
Coffee o' the day: Peet's Anniversary blend (mmm good)

The Scene
Me: finished checking email and sipping a fresh refill of aforementioned tasty blend
Lizzy: happily playing with her Little Touch Leap Pad

Action
Me: Noticed that the leap pad was acting "erractically" and decide I should change its batteries

Lizzy: Since the Leap Pad was blipping and beeping nonsensically, she starts playing with another toy. Lucky toy of choice: the ladybug "thsort" toy.

Me: Seeing that Lizzy was blissfully content with her ladybug toy, I go to get new batteries for the "dead" leap pad toy.

The batteries are kept in the mud room; I'd be gone 30 seconds, tops.
Should be fine.

(insert dramatic, foreshadowing music here)

Me: with new batteries & small screwdriver in hand, I enter the playroom.
GASP!!
"OH!....oh my gosh....no no no!"

I scooped Lizzy off my chair--which she had pulled out and nimbly ambled onto in the 15-20 seconds that I was gone--and removed my now empty coffee mug from her deft, clutchy little fingers. Her yellow onesie was covered in coffee and her glee was quickly turning to confusion and concern.

I visually measured the damage and sighed heavily.

My Corp's laptop doesn't much appreciate Peet's Anniversary Blend, especially when poured all over it's keyboard and square mousepad.


It needs much more than new batteries.

and Mommy has some 'splainin' to do at My Corp.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

to be continued...

Becoming a parent changes you...

"A woman with a child rediscovers the world.
All is changed--politics, loyalties, needs.
For now all is judged by the life of the child---
and of all children."

--Pam Brown

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Motherhood brings as much joy as ever,
but it still brings boredom, exhaustion, and sorrow too.
Nothing else ever will make you as happy or as sad,
as proud or as tired, for nothing is quite as hard
as helping a person develop his own individuality
especially while you struggle to keep your own."

--Marguerite Kelly and Elia Parsons

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Before becoming a mother, I had a hundred theories
on how to bring up children.
Now I have seven children and only one theory:
love them, especially when they least deserve to be loved."

--Kate Samperi

Lizzy went boom

Lizzy had a spill today and bruised the side of her face. She was sitting in one of her baskets (not the best thing to do) and happened to tip over and tumble down a step (not the best place to be) and into the Little People Farm toy (moo!). She has a big purple crescent-shaped bruise near her left eye. I'm so sad. I was at my desk-dining table trying to edit a stupid style guide and wasn't quick enough to get over there in time.

I'm not really sure what happened. I'm guessing that while she was in the basket, she reached over to grab a book and tipped over. Since the basket is small, I think she was stuck in there. poor thing.

In other events, tomorrow is finally FRIDAY. This has been the longest week--what with DH going out of town and me playing single mom, it's been good and busy. I'm so glad that it is a holiday weekend and we can all spend some quality time together, just the fam. yay!


Not to mention fireworks! woo hoo!

I think I'm going to make an apple pie tomorrow or Sat. Not only is it THE American dessert for this very American holiday, but it's my hubby's favorite. Do I love him, or what?

It's nearly 6pm and Lizzy has been napping for about an hour. Late for her, but she was so very tired and didn't take a good nap earlier (30min is not a nap, thank you Dr. Weissen-something). anyway, I need to go get her up, lest she doesn't sleep for the night (yikes!) and anyways, Hubby should be home soon and hey, it' s almost dinner time! eek.

Am I becoming a SAHM, or what? It's still a foreign thing to me, I must say. And I'm still trying to make it my own.

Ojibwa wisdom

You may have heard this quote featured on recently on The Sopranos. (check.)

But, would you have guessed it to actually appear in this month's O Magazine? (me either!)

Sometimes I go about pitying myself, and all the while I am being carried on great winds across the sky. ---Ojibwa saying

2015

With the amount and frequency of cleaning up I've done in the last month, I've come to realize that my house will not stay clean and tidy until, oh, about 2015 or so.

Some of my DD's favorite items to "unpack" right now are:

• tupperware-style lids and bowls
• brooms and dust pans from the hall closet (several times a day)
• sippy cups, lids, and whatever else is in "her" kitchen drawer
• rice cooker (?!)
• books, all books--hers, mine, DH's--it doesn't matter which. She loves to play with books
• all contents of her diaper bag are extremely fascinating
• and of course her toy bins, especially when I am putting toys away (ooh fun!)

So this SAHM's days consist of:

• kitchen duty
• floor duty
• Lizzy's...um...duty
• playing referee to raucous mealtime (aka throwing) sessions
• chasing & replacing aforementioned items
• oh yeah, and..."working part time"

So my question is this...

Is having two or more kids like having two or more cats? You know, once you go to all of the trouble of having one, it's not much more work (at least cleaning-wise) to incorporate another, or even a couple more?

Or should I be thinking closer to 2025 here?

Up!

I am always so amazed at some of the things Lizzy knows, does, or tries to do. She is so smart for her little 15-month-old self! Of course, all parents think their kid is smart---probably because they are.

It's easy to look at these little people (toddlers/babies) and think, "They're so small, they couldn't possibly understand..." or do, or whatever. But. They Do.

And I'm not talking Chevron here--these little ones actualy DO!

One example:
Yesterday Lizzy and I were looking at one of her books she doesn't look at often, and in it there's a little boy climbing a tree. It's not part of the story, and it doesn't show anything depicting movement; it's just a boy hanging on to the side of a palm tree.

Lizzy pointed at the boy and moved her finger up the tree, and blurted "Up!" and then looked at me inquisitively.

My jaw would have dropped to my lap had I not bursted out with a gleeful "YES! That's right! The boy is climbing up the tree! He's going UP!" Pride just swelled from every pore.

Granted her first word was "up," but this illustrated that she truly understands the concept of going up. She's never climbed a tree. But she knows it's possible. Which is more powerful than you would immediately think.

Knowing possibilities, applying concepts to things that you've never seen or done before---that's something that fuels the imagination. And imagination sends the human spirit soaring.

She's on her way.
And growing so fast!
I am so joyful at being able to share these precious days with her.

busy busy busy

I've been pretty busy these days and haven't had the time (read: energy) to blog! shame shame on me. Lots going on though.

1. naps have gotten a whole lot shorter! for some reason. Lizzy wants to sleep only for like 30-40 min and then she's up and running around again. Doesn't leave a whole lotta time for me to get stuff done. especially work!

2. Speaking of work, I haven't gone into the office in over 2 weeks! mostly because my babysitter has been "unavailable". ugh. also, my boss just gave notice! Everyone's shell-shocked, but of course there were rumors, or at least speculations by my co-worker. So I'm not ALL that surprised.

3. Since my boss is leaving, and they have SO MUCH WORK to do this summer, they just asked me to stay on a little longer than originally planned. hmmmmmm. I'm thinking about it. It's money. But it's tough working for a place I don't give a rat's ass about anymore. ahem. anyway...next!

4. I have a list of what's going on with Lizzy, which I think I'll share in a separate post. For now, let it be known that she has discovered the joy of flushing the toilet! not only that, but putting stuff IN the toilet and then flushing. Let it also be known that mom is now imagining all kinds of things getting flushed down the to the sewer. And oh how frightening that is! I'm keeping my keys high up and away from that little monkey girl!

5. Last but not least, one of my friends had her baby this past week (well, June 11---over a week ago!). Welcome to the world little one! =)

Kooky's a Star

Great. Now she's going to demand Fancy Feast & caviar.

See Kooky's debut on Stuff on my Cat

cat + stuff = awesome!

One of my friends just sent me this link, and for some stupid reason, I find it hilarious.

Stuff on my Cat

It makes me want to put stuff on my own cat.
Yes, I know. I've totally lost it.

Technorati tags: stuff on my cat, cats, boredom

Carpe Diem

Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life, by Amy Krouse Rosenthal

I just finished this book and wanted to share this great entry:

Returning to Life After Being Dead

When I am feeling dreary, annoyed, and generally unimpressed by life, I imagine what it would be like to come back to this world for just a day after having been dead. I imagine how sentimental I would feel about the very things I once found stupid, hateful, or mundane. Oh, there's a light switch! I haven't seen a light switch in so long! I didn't realize how much I missed light switches! Oh! Oh! And look--the stairs up to our front porch are still completely cracked! Hello cracks! Let me get a good look at you. And there's my neighbor, standing there, fantastically alive, just the same, still punctuating her sentences with you know what I'm saying? Why did that used to bother me? It's so ... endearing."

Reminds me of George Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life. And, although it's kinda cheesy, it resonates with me.


We have so much potential in our pockets.

totally unintentional, but I love that I posted this right after an entry titled "Wasting Time"

Wasting Time

"How's work?" you ask. In three days, I ripped through about 20 new technical pages, and went through two full revs for a blind survey. Surprisingly, this kind of output was hard to come by when I was in the office full time!

A study done last year reported that the average worker wastes 2 hours a day doing personal stuff---you know, web surfing, writing/reading email, running errands, socializing, etc. Oh, and this doesn't inlcude lunch. Or breaks.

Sound familiar?

"Yup," you say.

The fact that I get more done at home underscores the fact that, even though I have a toddler and a very needy cat, I manage to escape costly in-office distractions. At home, no co-worker pops in to discuss the latest episode of Lost, Sopranos, Oprah, or American Idol. (and o how I miss this!) I have no impromptu meetings. (don't miss this) No brief chats in the hall or at the coffee machine. Of course, I have other distractions. But my work hours are not necessarily limited to 8-5; I can log on anytime without feeling like I'm staying late or working long hours.

I'm not saying in-office distrations are evil. Hey, I love socializing! I just think it's ridiculous to assume that people can't produce quality work in a home environment. By me working from home, My Corp is getting more work for less money. What a concept.

That said, I do find that the actual work, taken out of the in-office context, is much more boring. The copy isn't exactly riveting to me in the first place, so trying to get through it while Lizzy is nearby discovering the joys of emptying out our tupperware drawer isn't exactly my idea of fun. Sometimes it hard enough to try and update this blog with her doing all her tricks and generally just vying for my attention.

I'm hoping that once I've fulfilled my 3-month stint for My Corp that I will be able to do some freelance stuff that actually captures more of my spirit and real enthusiasm. Not just the lure of a paycheck.

Which is where I currently sit.
Wasting my, not my company's, time.

When's payday again?

It's the small things

Lizzy and I went on a search for toy bins this week. You would be surprised at how difficult it is to find good quality, practical, and nice-looking toy bins. Am I just too picky? Maybe. Indecisive? Definitely.

We went to Target, Pottery Barn Kids, Toys R Us, Storables, and The Container Store, plus looked online and whatnot, and I still couldn't find something that would work for us (er, me. ahem).

After running the gauntlet of cheap plastic, cheaper plastic, and then downright flimsy--not to mention the extreme color selections: nothing but gaudy faded neon pink or basic black/white/clear--I finally decided to get some basic storage baskets lined with a kid-friendly, yet attractive fabric. I found some great specimins at, of all places, TJMaxx. woo hoo.
Inexpensive? yes! Attractive? (mostly) Yes! Practical? Definitely yes! Happy to not have to step on megablocks (d'oh!), peek-a-blocks (#$%^&!), and gnarley wooden puzzle pieces (!#$%^&**&*!!!!) and trip over myself every time I turn around? YES YES YES!

This is probably the only time that I've actually liked seeing/feeling our carpet. Cheap, ever-so-boring-beige, always-moulting-its-fuzz...and yet...ah, my feet loves its soft, toe-grabbing pile. Just ignore the kinky short fibers between my toes.

Bizzy Miz Lizzy

Some of Lizzy's recent activities:

• This past weekend she doled out her first kiss! Mommy was the lucky receiver--if you call a slobbery, loose-lipped baby mouth pressing against your face lucky. (and, let's face it, only a mom would)
• "bah-bah" can mean anything from: banana, baby, and bye-bye to: broom, bread, butterfly, and even strawberry
• Loves the broom and watching me sweep
• Tried coloring/scribbling with big crayons for the "first" time today (we've tried to get to color at restaurants, but she only wants to eat the crayons, or throw them). She still doesn't quite get it yet, even with the big crayons. Those bright colors look so yummy!
• Torments our cat daily, much to the cat's chagrin. Kitty's pretty good overall, but Kitty did actually bite Lizzy this past Sunday. I freaked out and was picturing having to take her to the hospital with some kind of weird, tracking-up-her-arm infection. We quickly busted out the anti-b and the rubbing alcohol and swabbed her til the cows came home. (How's that for first aid?) Dad was so calm. Baby was too. All was well. ahhh
• She got her first MegaBlock set. Oooooh, fun. Especially sitting IN the tub on top of the blocks---sheer baby heaven.
• She's saying mama more. I think she's starting to understand that when she says mama I'll respond. so darn cute. so darn scary.
• We played over at our friend's house yesterday and discovered the joy of tiny little river rocks! O, they looked so yummy. (again with the colors) Mommy is such a spoil-sport and always has to ruin her adventurous dining intentions.
• Also at the friend's place, she found great joy in tormenting their dog. (all fur friends take note)
• She is such a flirt. She really likes one of daddy's buddies, and I caught her making eyes and sideways grinning at him during the BBQ on Sunday. (oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear...) (perhaps we should channel that tormenting animals thing to tormenting boys instead. hmmmm...)
• She's decided that she doesn't want to nap lately. much to mommy's chagrin! So, we are seeing, or rather hearing, a whole lotta crying up in the crib these past afternoons. sigh.

Here's what's up with Mommy:

• The cat is driving mommy absolutely bonkers and sometimes I want to torment it myself. (no, that's wrong)
• Working from home is going well overall. I've had some login issues and had to call IS only a couple of times (grrr) but...the work itself is fine. I get so much stuff done at home. I can do a whole day's worth of work in about 4-5 hours. Makes one think, it does.
• What's great about working from home is that I can set my own hours (um, paid work that is), for the most part. example: we went to toysRus right in the middle of the day today. could I have done that while being just your average work slave? no! now, can I get a resounding "woo-hoo!!"?
• Working from home, however, does have it's shortcomings. Hours (unpaid) are long (7am-8pm) and the conversation is rare on most days. but we're gettin' it done and making the most of it.

Now, must get dinner and some downtime in front of the tv. DH is out of town, and I have so much Tivo to catch up on! I've missed like 5 episodes of House, and 3 Sopranos, and who knows what else, so I've got a whole lotta Tivo work to do! Does mommy's "work" ever end? (grin) shoo, I'd do Tivo "work" anyday! I love Tivo!

ok, enough yammering for one day.

Do Babies Know Time?

Do babies have a sense of time? Or do they just get to know the "routine" of their days?

It's an interesting question.

I'm guessing it's more routine, but sometimes Lizzy makes me think otherwise. She's demonstrated that she knows about what time I come home from work (well, when I used to go to work). She would go over to the door/gate and cry for mommy. (aww) Cuteness aside though, what makes her do this? Is it that she knows it's been about "so much time" that it's time for mommy to come home? Maybe routine and having a sense of time are very closely related to each other.

What really intrigues me about this is that another kid I know doesn't seem to know what's what when it comes to time. For example, when the parents went away on vacation she never went to the door/gate and call for mommy, never gave any semblance of realization that mommy and daddy were even gone. Didn't seem to bother her one bit! Anyway, she was of course happy to see them when they did return, but her behavior is so different than Lizzy's...makes me wonder...do we just chock it up to kids being different?

Perhaps Lizzy is beginning to develop a sense of time, based on her routine. She knows sort of what to expect during her days, so this routine gives her a solid ground on which to understand that so much time has passed since lunch or since mommy left, etc.

It's so inspiring and wonderful to see babies'/toddlers' little brains working and trying to solve big concepts like time and place. Amazing, amazing, amazing we human beings are!! The human brain is just so very fascinating!

Memorial Day

In line with what I was talking about yesterday--about children and how they deserve the best--Oprah has had couple of very relevant shows lately.

On Wednesday Oprah featured Elie Wiesel, author of the holocaust memoir Night, and they took the cameras around Auschwitz while Professor Wiesel narrated his memories and impressions. His quiet words brought to life a horror and desperation that's difficult to grasp. But the children, o the poor, innocent children and tiny babies that perished there, wrapped in their mothers' arms...to this especially, there are no words to describe the pain.

As a mother, I can't help but try to imagine myself there--to be forced to leave my family, to be ordered at gunpoint to disrobe myself and my baby, and then get in a line to take a "shower" only to find that we were all to be mercilessly murdered. What thoughts go through your head? You've got your precious baby in your arms, you've been separated from your husband and other dear ones, and you're vulnerably naked and helpless. What can you afford to think?

Well it brings me think: how could this have really happened? and who would have done this--to babies and small children especially--millions of them. day after day after day...? My God, who? What kind of human being?

Dispicable.

Auschwitz has not only entombed millions of bodies, but it also houses mounds of baby shoes, clothing remnats, and baby suitcases. Not to mention the 67-ft-long window that separates you from the veritable hillside of shorn hair. Unbelieveable--and unspeakably sad.

To know that these kinds of atrocities still go on in the world (Sudan and others?)makes me want to stand up and do something.

But what?

a work of love and duty

This quote succinctly encapsulates what I've been feeling lately. I'm very glad to be able to share it with you.


"I looked on child-rearing not only as a work of love and duty,
but as a profession that was fully as interesting and challenging
as any honorable profession in the world and
one that demanded the best that I could bring to it."

--Rose Kennedy

So great. I love that last line.

The children of this world deserve nothing but the very best that we can give them. Wouldn't you agree?

Home Sweet Home

Yesterday was my first day home, and it was great. A lot of work, but from what everyone constantly tells me, the days & years just fly by when you are with young children.

Elizabeth seems happy to finally be home. With all of the constant shuffling around to different babysitters for the past few weeks, she has been extra clingy and wanting mommy. Both my MIL & SIL were saying that at about 430 Lizzy would go over to the gate/door and cry for me. even call out "mama." My mom said that she cried "mommy." I haven't heard that yet!

She's understanding so much more these days. And she tries to say words like apple, diaper, kitty, broom, birds, banana--it' sooo cute. She still can't form the sounds.

Other stuff she's doing:

• She wants to walk down the stairs instead of crawl. She's a big girl now!
• She's learned (about 3 weeks ago) to open levered doors--no knobs yet
• She loves her books and looks at them constantly.
• She also plays really well on her own for like 20 min! it's great. I can sit here on the computer and watch her play. She's gotten so much easier to watch.
• She tries to put on her own shoes
• She's been "playing" with her changing pad, the velcro one--like to open it and lie down on it! crazy girl
• She's discovered the Wiggles (thanks to outside influences who will remain nameless)
• ...but what's even cuter is that she likes to "dance" like they do: raising her arms up and down...oh man, we have GOT to video this. It's unbearably cute

I feel so lucky. I could be working and earning more money, and I could have decided to send her to day care, but that seems such a selfish kind of life. My husband's job pays well enough, and he actually enjoys his work. Sure, more money is always nice, but she's our daughter & we want her to grow up with us, by us. We want to instill in her young mind our values and our love for learning. That's so important. When it comes down to it, money is just money--it brings life's necessities and, if you're lucky, luxuries--but family is precious. I can give so much to my daughter--why spend all my energy at an unfulfilling job when the most important job is here at home?

That said, it's a transistion from working full time to being home full time. but that's another post. I have a little angel at my toes calling "up! up!"

Oh these days are precious!

Going to LizzyLand

Well, it's official. Two more days of full-time work and then I am an official stay-at-home mom (SAHM).

Wonder what it's like to be a SAHM?
Me too!

Guess we'll find out soon enough.

LizzyLand --- The happiest, messiest, craziest, "ahba-ga-gogo-i-est" place on earth.

Should be fun...and...am I insane?????

Silence is golden...

...and red...and blue...and green...

I'm back from 7 days of silence.
Yet what a cacophony this past week has seen.
(color indicates state of mind)

1. Wednesday 5/10: Gave notice at work. (finally)
My last day as an "employee" (more on that soon) is 5/23
2. Thursday 5/11: My boss asked me to stay on as a part-time consultant for 3 months. Aww, they miss me already...
3. Friday 5/12 (in three parts):
part 1: AM: Somehow a few co-workers find out that I'm leaving. Shock and awe aside, they rage about how upper management doesn't support telecommuting, (e.g., moms who want to work from home)
part 2: later AM: Feeling a bit torn about leaving my job, my salary, my "free" time (if you can call it that). Spend much of the afternoon trying to reconcile what the future means for me, (e.g., me, a SAHM? pshaw!)
part 3: 4PM: Boss wants to start the paperwork for my consultantcy status, and I...gasp...tell her to hold off until Monday so I could think on it. (see part 2 above)
4. Saturday 5/13: Now away from work, I quickly realize that the decision to quit and stay home with Lizzy is the right one. What's more, my current job (although safe) is holding me back.
5. Sunday 5/14: Mother's Day. Visited 2 mothers in 2 places in 2 hours (ok, 5 hrs, but 2 sounded so much more dramatic). Feeling good about the decision to leave work; wondering who's going to watch Lizzy next week! Mom? SIL?
6. Monday 5/15: Childcare solved. Told boss to go forward with the paperwork (notice the GREENLIGHT).
7. Tuesday 5/16: Feeling right & rosy (notice the pink?). It's a waiting game now.

Which brings us to today:
Boss announced to the big group that I will be leaving & I'm telling more people 1:1. We also shuffled around some projects. However, it looks like I'll still have a lot to do!! At least through August. show me the money.

More later...must run off to pick up DD.

non-seq: looking forward to tonight's episode of LOST... :)

Pep Talk

Sitting in my office dreading the conversation I need to have with my boss.

You see, today I was planning to tell her that I either have to give my 2 wks notice or we have to come to some kind of alternative arrangement on work hours.

UGH.

I SO dread this conversation. Part of me really just wants to quit and leave it all behind, but somehow it's very very difficult to actually do so. Why is it so hard?? Am I afraid of quitting and being at home, a full-time SAHM? Afraid that I won't be happy or that I won't be able to make money doing stuff that I actually enjoy? I guess I'm not really sure how I'll be able to make money yet, and that's a concern. But that's not it.

Somehow I feel obligated to stay and complete my projects, even the ones that haven't actually started yet. How nuts is that? I don't want to let "the team" down, but hey, I can't let myself down by staying in a job I don't love.

Perhaps work has become a bigger safety net than I thought. I've hidden out in this job for almost 7 years!! Crazy!! I can do so much more with my time and I know that. I need to stop second-guessing myself, trust my instincts and just move on.

I've got to climb out of this shell once and for all. Discover more about myself and what I'm capable of. This job is holding me back and giving me a (poor) excuse not to push myself to the next level.

Enough is enough!

Ready, Set, Work!

I'm home today with DD Lizzy b/c it is DH's first day at the new job. unexpectedly soon, too. Wow, they were anxious to get him started, seeing that he received confirmation of his start date only three days ago. (Friday after 4pm no less). so, the rat race begins with a bang.

Which leads to lots of scrambling on our end to figure out childcare, especially since I haven't even given notice yet! Tomorrow's the big day for that conversation (yay), but with the caveat that I can continue working (from home, ahem) until they get a replacement. I'll offer to go in 1-2 days a week, but I'd be surprised if they go for it. They wouldn't let me work from home when I asked about it last Feb.---however, there is a lot of stuff that needs to be done in the coming weeks, so eh! who knows! It's prolly going to be one of those "gotta go ask the big boss" kind of things.

Just put DD down for a nap. she is getting so much better at this sleep thing. Granted, this time around she cried, but only after being in there for over a 1/2 hr of what I guess is trying to get herself to sleep. I kept hearing little noises and of course the birds going, so who knows. She was WAY tired when I finally went in. I picked her up and she quickly fell asleep in my arms. I love her! Aw, i just had to say that. sometimes she is just so damn cute it makes me sick! :-P hahahaha

Anyway, she's off sleeping, which always makes me think....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
What should I do now???? I always have 10 million things to do when she's awake & I can't do them, but when she's alseep I don't know where to start. Plus, she's a light sleeper, so I don't want to make too much noise.

I'm finding that I'm really not all that upset about quitting my job. When I'm not there, I don't really miss it, which speaks volumes. It would be easy to walk away from it. I just know that I'll need something work-wise to do during the days that I'm home though, lest I go completely mad with baby talk and baby toy songs going through my head! I'll spare you the torture.

Well better go and make the most of my baby-sleeping time! WHEEE

So cool, it's creepy

Ok, this is getting creepy.
--except it's so KEWL!

DH (aka Mr. Mom) just called to inform me that Lizzy's strange new ability to lie down and go to sleep without protest continues...

If it wasn't so very cool I'd be one creeped out, very concerned mama!

Lizzy Goes Down

DUUUUUUUUUUDE. last night was soooooo amazing. (get your mind out of the gutter now)

In a shocking turn, my DD Lizzy has decided that she can go down for the night without crying. I KNOW! It's UN-believeable isn't it??? I am still reeling. Of course, it's only been one night of such pleasantries, but ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's nice to dream that all nights going forward will be as such. that's me, ever the optimist. (oh please oh please oh please...)

last night at about 730 we went upstairs, changed her diaper, "read" thru her current fave book--Goodnight Gorilla--aka "go-go"--so cute--anyways it went as follows:

1. turned on the birds (her overhead movie/music extravaganza--see pic)
2. put her in crib
3. kissed her goodnight
4. told her to lie down
...then it gets interesting...
5. she DID!!!!!!!!
6. she got restless
7. she got up
8 she walked over to play with the birds
9. i kissed her precious, sweet-smelling baby head and said good night again
10. i walked out

and...
(insert crickets here)

no #11
no an den!
nada
zip
zilch
'cept precious, ever-so-silent sleep

!!

speechless, i am.

--one proud mama