Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Pep Talk

Sitting in my office dreading the conversation I need to have with my boss.

You see, today I was planning to tell her that I either have to give my 2 wks notice or we have to come to some kind of alternative arrangement on work hours.


I SO dread this conversation. Part of me really just wants to quit and leave it all behind, but somehow it's very very difficult to actually do so. Why is it so hard?? Am I afraid of quitting and being at home, a full-time SAHM? Afraid that I won't be happy or that I won't be able to make money doing stuff that I actually enjoy? I guess I'm not really sure how I'll be able to make money yet, and that's a concern. But that's not it.

Somehow I feel obligated to stay and complete my projects, even the ones that haven't actually started yet. How nuts is that? I don't want to let "the team" down, but hey, I can't let myself down by staying in a job I don't love.

Perhaps work has become a bigger safety net than I thought. I've hidden out in this job for almost 7 years!! Crazy!! I can do so much more with my time and I know that. I need to stop second-guessing myself, trust my instincts and just move on.

I've got to climb out of this shell once and for all. Discover more about myself and what I'm capable of. This job is holding me back and giving me a (poor) excuse not to push myself to the next level.

Enough is enough!

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