Friday, January 12, 2007

Is it me?

I haven't been to any of my mother's group functions lately. No playgroups, no outings, no meetings, etc. I haven't even really talked with any of them lately. And no one has called me either. It's weird. The group claims to be supportive, but they seem to be more clique-ish and gossip mongers. If a previously active group member (for any group) just suddenly stopped attending, wouldn't you (or someone) call and see what's up? You know, check to see if she's alive at least?

Maybe that's just what I would do.

I'm realizing that the group is bigger in theory than in practice. It's a shame. I haven't totally given up on them, but I'm not really sure if I care anymore. I have met some wonderful mothers while at the park with Lizzy. It's fun to just go and see who's there and who you'll meet--no structure, just random socializing. Interestingly, we go to parks nearly everyday and have only very rarely run into another mother from my group. What do these mothers do all day long couped up in the house? I would go crazy and so would Lizzy.

Don't get me wrong, the ladies in my current group are basically nice, but so very few are truly friendly and receptive. What also bugs me is that the president is one of those "queen bee" types that has to be loud and the center of attention at all times. At my first mom's night out she sat right across from me and spent the majority of the evening talking over everyone and trying to carry on conversations with moms clear across the room. I couldn't help but instantly be annoyed with her. Not my best attribute, admittedly, but so be it.

Ideally, I'd like to connect with a playgroup that's associated with a good church. At least we'd have the common thread of faith between us and could possibly grow from each other that way.

I don't know. I'm idealistic. Maybe that's another bad attribute.
But so be it.

I just want to make new friends with other moms in the community. Why does that seem to take so long? Are people too busy? too introverted? too selfish? too.....gosh, I don't know. What's up with people these days? What am I doing wrong? Is it me?


Heather said...

I was evolved in "Playgroup" for almost 6 years when we lived in Alaska, we just recently moved to New Mexico...but all my kids were in school this year and I wondered how I was going to meet any friends. The common bond I always had (kids not in school) was gone! It takes time to find other who you connect with...MOPS is a "church" related group, is there one in your area?

Belle-ah said...

LOL (not at you but in that you have to laugh or cry kind of way)...I feel that I could have written your post for myself many times over. We have moved a lot as DH generally got transferred every couple of years or so. It is hard to find authentic, genuine, down to earth, love my kids but have other interest as well Moms. Hang in there.