Thursday, April 27, 2006

Where Soul Meets Body

I want to live where soul meets body
And let the sun wrap its arms around me
And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing
And feel, feel what its like to be new

Ah, Death Cab is feeding me this afternoon...a melody softly soaring through my atmosphere...

I've been poking around some of the other mom blogs out there, and it's nice to know that other people feel as clueless as I do about how to balance work, being a mom, and just having a life in general. I've been depressed lately trying to work this all out and trying to not lose my normal happy, positive attitude. But damn it's tough.

When I was pregnant, everyone kept telling me how my life was never going to be the same...and although I realized that fact, it was a hopeful sort of picture I invisioned, idyllic in a way...I was so excited to bring new life into the world, to hold that little baby and see a reflection of myself and my was such an exciting time to be pregnant and so very joyful to actually become a mother.

But man, nothing prepares you for the reality of it all. Despite the angel that is my daughter and the sheer wonderment I get from being in her presence...being a mother is So. Very. Freaking. Difficult. Throw in working full time, and we've got one crazy party on our hands! I can't help but think of this marathon runner's quote: 20 miles of hope. 6 miles of reality. (9 months of hope: 18+ years of reality?)

Still seeking balance---where soul meets body---and cleansing, newness of self---because let's face it, life HAS changed. and I am not the same. I must Live this new life. No going back. and that's ok. As long as I can figure out how to work this new one. Are you sure there's no manual I can read on how to be supermom? (I didn't take that class in college. But I can explicate Wordsworth--and the occasional Death Cab song--till the cows come home...)

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