Don't have a heart attack...

Actually *I* will have one if any of my readers are still tuning in to this blog. It's been dark for so many months now. I lost the blog bug back in April/May, and...brace for it...I haven't even read any of my usual blogs either! There, I said it. So shoot me.



So....err...isn't my little girl getting big?

Diversion didn't work? Oh well, can't blame a gal for trying.


I'll just start with this: It feels good to be sitting here typing and looking at the swaying leaves outside, thinking of what to share with you. I must say though that it's very difficult to share these days, as blogging seems to have become quite a dangerous pastime of late. Who knows what little quip said off the cuff will come back to haunt me? Should I just throw caution to the wind and take the leap? You'll have to stay tuned for that, b/c for now I truly don't know.

I do know that the best blogs are those that do "take the leap" and let it all hang out, so to speak. I've never been a good risk-taker. For instance, we were just in vegas and I cringed at my hubby putting a $25 chip on the table. Need a say more?

I can fill you in on how Lizzy is doing. She's an amazing talker now and can even sing a few songs. Let's see, she usually goes in this order:

1. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
2. Rock a Bye Baby
3. Frere Jacques
4. then the english version: Are You Sleeping?

Other favorites she likes to sing too:

1. Backyardigans (pirate treasure songs are her favorite)
2. Wiggles (although not so much these days)
3. ABCs

She likes Doodlebops songs (especially Bird Is the Word), but doesn't really know any by heart yet. She can't sit through one of these shows though; gets up after about 5 min into it. Which is great, b/c I can't stand any of it either, other than an occasional song or two. I just don't see the value in that show at all. At least for a 2 1/2 year old.

Oh she's growing so fast!!

And I'm starting to think that I am ready for #2. FINALLY. You'll be the first to know when that happens. sorta.

ok, not really, but I'll pass it on when it happens, k?

In other realms, I haven't done anything with my mother's group so far this year. but I'm still signing up for next year. go figure. Chalk it up to really wanting it to work, and I'm giving it one last try. sigh. There are actually some really nice women mixed into the...well, the not so nice ones. I am always shocked when some of the mothers remember me and say hi while at the park. It's embarrassing sometimes b/c I don't always recognize them. (Gee, maybe I need to try a little harder...ya think?)

One of my better mom friends just up and moved several states away (btw, I'm in CA folks, so several states is FAR out here)...anyway, that was a very sad time and it really affected me. I was just getting to know her better and looking forward to hanging out more, etc. Then...poof! gone. What's worse is that Lizzy always asks where her daughter is, and I have to try and explain that she's not here, she moved, etc. Not the easiest thing for a 2yo to understand.

On a better note, she IS understanding more & actually using the potty these days. YAY. I still can't get her to do #2 in there though. (sorry older Lizzy if you're reading this) and oh man, it's hard not to get frustrated by that. any advice on how to get there? I know I'm ready! :)

Well, I don't want to sit and type through her whole nap--she takes such short ones. I've got to get my bathroom cleaned and maybe, just maybe, do a quick run. Both are sorely needed!

Is it me?

I haven't been to any of my mother's group functions lately. No playgroups, no outings, no meetings, etc. I haven't even really talked with any of them lately. And no one has called me either. It's weird. The group claims to be supportive, but they seem to be more clique-ish and gossip mongers. If a previously active group member (for any group) just suddenly stopped attending, wouldn't you (or someone) call and see what's up? You know, check to see if she's alive at least?

Maybe that's just what I would do.

I'm realizing that the group is bigger in theory than in practice. It's a shame. I haven't totally given up on them, but I'm not really sure if I care anymore. I have met some wonderful mothers while at the park with Lizzy. It's fun to just go and see who's there and who you'll meet--no structure, just random socializing. Interestingly, we go to parks nearly everyday and have only very rarely run into another mother from my group. What do these mothers do all day long couped up in the house? I would go crazy and so would Lizzy.

Don't get me wrong, the ladies in my current group are basically nice, but so very few are truly friendly and receptive. What also bugs me is that the president is one of those "queen bee" types that has to be loud and the center of attention at all times. At my first mom's night out she sat right across from me and spent the majority of the evening talking over everyone and trying to carry on conversations with moms clear across the room. I couldn't help but instantly be annoyed with her. Not my best attribute, admittedly, but so be it.

Ideally, I'd like to connect with a playgroup that's associated with a good church. At least we'd have the common thread of faith between us and could possibly grow from each other that way.

I don't know. I'm idealistic. Maybe that's another bad attribute.
But so be it.

I just want to make new friends with other moms in the community. Why does that seem to take so long? Are people too busy? too introverted? too selfish? too.....gosh, I don't know. What's up with people these days? What am I doing wrong? Is it me?