The "No-Cry, No-Sleep" Sleep Solution

Early this morning my 20-month-old daughter woke me from a dream. I could hear her crying in her crib; apparently she couldn't settle back into sleep on her own. They say that most babies/toddlers wake during the night and can fall back asleep on their own (or learn to), and most of the time Lizzy does just this. Lately however, she's backslid into bouts of crying and carrying on until either me or daddy gets up to check on her.

When I do hear her crying, I give her at least 10 minutes to calm herself and see if she'll go back to sleep on her own. We struggled with her sleep since the beginning--it's been the most difficult thing I've faced with her. And over the past year, it's gotten worlds better. More often than not, Lizzy can sleep all the way through the night without incident.

But, not last night.

It was 4:02am and I had just returned from checking on her--she had woken me at about 3:45, and after about 10 min of crying, I went to her. I didn't pick her up, just hugged and reassured her everything was ok and that she needed to go back to sleep. It was now 4:02 and she was crying louder and much more intensely.

What a terrible sound. It just made my insides churn with an overwhelming need to go comfort her, to hold and rock her until she was back to sleeping peacefully. But bad habits form quickly for toddlers, and I want her to consistently sleep in her own bed. So I put the covers over my head and let her cry it out.

After 12 min of loud crying (4:14am), I couldn't help but wonder if by not answering her I was inadvertently "teaching her" rejection. That thought pained me terribly. Obviously I want her to know that I am there and she shouldn't be afraid, but at the same time I need her to know that she can sleep on her own.

My motherly need to comfort eventually won, and at 4:22 I went to her. How could I not? This little 20-month-old soul was screaming her heart and lungs out for the one thing she wanted: mama.

When I walked in, she stood up and said "mahh-mahhhhh" all stuffy and wet with crying. I hugged her while she was still in the crib, and then she joyfully said "hi." (It's such a cute thing to hear her say hi, btw.) She calmed down instantly and wanted "up!"

Adamantly, I didn't pick her up (it's sooooo difficult to get her back in the crib if I pick her up in the middle of the night). So I managed to calm her into lying back down by singing lullabies and stroking her beautiful red hair. I talked to her gently, and she eased into a relaxed state.

I sat by her crib and, while pretending to have my eyes closed, watched her keep herself awake, all wide-eyed and blinking stiffly.

I made myself comfy on her cushiony pillows at the base of the crib (set up to prevent escape-injury, just in case), and after about 15 min she sounded like she was asleep. Or very close. I got up slowly and quietly snuck out of the room. She heard me, but she was good and didn't get up.

Glancing at my bedside clock, it was now 5:04am. I rolled into bed and could hear her stir and "say" something, but again, she was good and didn't make any noise afterwards. I assume she went right to sleep.

Back in bed, I was now wide awake, mind running rampant with warm thoughts of her, of how she smiles and how she giggles, of just how amazing and...exhausting...she can be.

I couldn't stop thinking about just how much I love her. And how I wouldn't change anything about her, even if it would mean that I could get more sleep or get more writing done.

I am ever-so awed and inspired by her, this little person who's only been here for 20 months. And although there are days when motherhood challenges me to the core, it gives me such indescribable joy.


~~~~~~~~~
Update: I came across this quote just after completing this post:

"Don't get so involved in the duties of your life and your children that you forget the pleasure. Remember why you had children."

---Lois Wyse

Between the nano novel, cleaning the house/kitchen, trying to lose weight for Hawaii, keeping Lizzy entertained, adjusting to my no-career status, staying up on my mother's group, etc. etc.---I need to remember this and stop trying to do everything at once and simply enjoy the moment. Be present in my life.


Lizzy's growing everyday. And so am I.
But nights like the one I've described above will be nothing but a memory soon enough.



Technorati tags: toddlers, sleep disruption, sleep training, motherhood

New Stuff

I've figured out the background, so now I only need to find something I like better than this flower grid thingie. I know, riveting opener, isn't it?

In other, even MORE exciting topics, Lizzy has officially used the potty three times. Needless to say, it was a very happy occasion for mom. But I must admit I've been remiss in reporting such exciting news, as this was about 10 days ago. I should have made more of a hub-bub because since then she hasn't used it. Bummer, huh? Her new thing is to tell me that random dolls and stuffed animals are "poopy" and that we need to change them. I'll have you know that Mickey Mouse is very regular. As is "Tidoo" her little squishy doll. I'll have them potty trained before Thanksgiving. I don't need to change any more diapers than necessary, thankyouverymuch.

Ker-POW!
Did you hear that? Yup, Lizzy is also entering the language explosion. She tries to say nearly everything and even holds conversations which go something like this:"goosheebahbah mee doo..." Sound familiar to all you moms out there? Sometimes even a real word comes out. She now says "hi!" which is so darn cute. (note: it's not so cute when she says "hi" to you upon entering her room in answer to her 3am cries. I mean, it's cute, but...it more like, "you woke me from sleep to say hi?" uh, yeah. reeeeal cute.) What's even better is her trying to say scarecrow. It comes out as "care-coh" and makes you want to just explode from witnessing such darn cuteness.

Other new stuff (in case you want to be totally bored to tears): she uses a spoon fairly well now and can climb like a little monkey. oo oo ee ee ahh ahh. She walks up and down stairs by herself and is finding new joys in climbing the absolutely highest slide at the park. If mommy pulls her down, she has a fit.

"Hi" to the beginnings of the terrible twos. whimper

I hope all will be well next week with Grandma & Grandpa. As they say, she can be a little pistol sometimes. Must be all that red hair.

Technorati tags: toddlers, potty training, language explosion

Blogger Beta---yeah it is!

Let me just say that I'm kinda irritated Blogger Beta's claims that it would be sooooo much easier to customize (ok, I'm paraphrasing, but is it just me or didn't they make it sound like it would be a cinch?) Whatever. It's not. It's easy if you want to keep the same template but change fonts and colors. WHEE. Oh I guess you can add some new "elements" to the page, but even these are pre-programmed. I took one look at the new "customizer" and just about barfed.

So, here's my take on trying to customize Blogger on my own. It's a start. And I in no way shape or form claim to be good at this. Frankly, I don't know what the #$% I'm doing here. For instance, I'm having issues with the background and think I may ditch it altogether. I like having my own header though. I've been wanting to figure that out for months. I finally holed myself up in a room last night and just threw something together while my poor hubby was downstairs with a very cranky Lizzy. Poor dears. I guess mommy really needed some time away from it all. Why mommy picked wrestling with Blogger and HTML code instead of going out and doing something that's actually fun is a whole other issue. eh, I'll tackle that one later. maybe.

For now, I'm open to suggestions and any help on my HTML debacle displayed herein. :)

Nano MySpace-o

Ok. I admit it. I've totally lost it with the NANO project. I know. It sucks, but it's okay. I've got about 2500 words. I could list my excuses, but I'll spare you. Just wanted to keep you in the know. What matters is that I tried. kinda. I haven't given up on the novel, just getting 50K words written by Nov 30. yeah..........

have I mentioned that we are going to Hawaii in like 10 days?????? I absolutely cannot wait.
OH MY GAWD. It's going to be so keewl to have that much time to spend with my hubby and just be ourselves no work, no little girl. I'll miss her terribly, but we so need to get away and spend some time together. We are staying in the same place we spent our honeymoon. so fantastic. the lanai is oceanfront and we can step right out onto grass that leads to the beach. man oh man. can't. wait.

And.
After 4 months of having an account...I finally set up my MySpace page. (not sure if you can see it or not--but there's even a goofy picture of me on there--for the time being at least) It's funny how many people use myspace. Me? I have NO IDEA what to use it for, but at least now I can pretend to be hip and say, "me? oh yeah, I have a myspace page..." hahaha. I need to pick a URL name, but everything I've tried is already taken. (I know I know, big problems. WAH.) Anyway, if anyone wants to enlighten me as to what to actually DO with a myspace page, feel free. My friend told me people hook up via that thing, but obviously I don't need to do that. and you can have a blog, but...well, that's obviously not needed. Am I just taking up space over there? prolly. oh well.

Getting my NaNoWriMo Legs

It's day 2 of NaNoWriMo, and I'm behind. The goal is to write 50,000 words by midnight Nov 30th--that's roughly 1667 words a day. My total word count is...drumroll please...

1304.

But it's something. And I am proud. I want to "win" the challenge, but even if I don't, I'll be happy in knowing that I tried. If nothing else, I'll have 1304 more words of my novel than I would have if I didn't try. :)

Mostly I'm realizing just how difficult novel-writing is. Let me tell you, thinking and doing are two different things. For me, it's much harder than I realized. At least I am (partially) saved by the NaNoWriMo philosophy to write quantity, not quality. As an editor, it's especially challenging not to edit myself and to just write.

This is probably why I'm behind: because I've rewritten stuff and spent more time tweaking than just spilling out narrative content. I wrote 1,000+ words in about an hour today--not great, but better than yesterday's 300 words.

I'm behind, but I'm not giving up.
I'm not I'm not I'm not!

(Remind me to read this post come Nov 25th.)